​1. No Refunds given at any time.

2. No Lip, backtalk or sass to our Dark Lord.

3. No hope or prayers that God will save you.

4. No monkeys jumping on any beds.

5. No crying wolf, or shark, or Sasquatch.

6. No running, jumping, or cartwheels with scissors.

7. No takebacks.

8. No quitting, or quilting, or knitting.

9. No service, self service or bottle service.

10. No Not loving Straight-Razor Stalemate.

58. No profanity or calling for God.

59. No smoking cigars.

60. No heroes, idols or anyone inspiring.

61. No Ballywhoo, because I said so.

62. No cutting in line in front of other damned souls.

63. No food or drink inside the Carnival.

64. No seeking approval.

65. No music except the Devil's music.

66. No candy, treats, lollies or cakes.

67. No watching movies.

68. No beer, wine liquor or spirits.

69. Nevermore, nevermore.

70. No sniffing or licking bicycle seats.

71. No switching the batteries on remote controls.

129. No littering.

131. No eating after midnight.

132. No talking about fight club.

133 pay no attention to rule 132.

134 Don't feed the animals.

135 Don't release any animals from their cages.

136 At first you don't succeed give up.

137 Don't ever ever ask to go to heaven.

138 No raises.

139 no promotions.

200 Don't try to make sense of the rules.

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